duck-shaped pain

Pointless Vibrating Crab is about four inches high, six inches wide, is bright red, has big, boogly [1] eyes, and vibrates.

Pointless Vibrating Crab vibrates a) when you poke it and b) at completely random intervals. I don't know if a. is really true, or if the completely randon vibrating coincides with the pokes.

I got Pointless Vibrating Crab at the thrift store right next to the post office, and decided to add it to my small yet influential band of stuffed crustaceans.[2] It's some Japanese toy, which shouldn't surprise anyone. Still, I image children would be more disturbed by Pointless Vibrating Crab than anything. I have yet to determine, why, exactly, Pointless Vibrating Crab exists and how it got to this thrift store in this town.

Just wanted to share.

[1] This is, of course, the scientific term for large, protruding eyes.