duck-shaped pain

2000-07-18
Where I Relax To The Soothing Sounds of Intermittent Drumming

Something interesting happened today.

There are two CDs I own that I've never been able to get all the way through. I mean this in a different, more serious way than CDs I've put on, got sick of, and turned off halfway through. In this case, I'm referring to CDs that I've made several serious attempts to carefully listen to, and have failed to do so every single time. [1]

Not coincidentally, both of these CDs are from the same band. Try as I might, I have never ever ever ever ever ever been able to get all the way through either Harsh 70s Reality or Trapdoor Fucking Exit by the Dead C. [2]

Well, until today.

As frequent readers may have noticed, I've been going through a period in my life where I'm very interested in getting rid of things. Books, clothes, things like that. I haven't been paying much attention to the CD collection, because it's pretty bare-bones as it is, after I sold almost two-thirds of it last year. [3]

But, I started thinking, why do I still have these two CDs around? They're just causing me grief sitting there, staring at me, mocking me, reminding me, hey, you can't finish us...

I keep them around for a couple of reasons. A) They're a CHALLENGE. B) I'll never find used copies of them, in case I get rid of them and then decide that I'd like to hear them again. C) No place around here would buy them anyway. And D) I feel like I should be able to get through them. They're the kind of thing I'd like. Usually, when I can't finish something, I can easily tell myself it's because said thing sucks, but I can't do that so easily here. I just start to think that maybe there's something wrong with me because I can't get through these. [4]

So, today, I gave myself an ultimatum. One more try, and if I can't get into them, off they go to half.com, where someone surely has them on their wish list. I can use the money to buy something I actually like.

You can all see where this is going, right?

I bought my copy of Trapdoor Fucking Exit a few years ago, while I was on a trip to Seattle which would prove to be fateful in many ways. [5] On the drive home, I tried to give it a listen. I was about a few "songs" into is when David, the guy I was travelling with, woke up from his nap and muttered, "Something's wrong with the drums." He then dozed off again, and that's pretty much been the pattern ever since.

I bought Harsh 70s Reality when I lived in Oregon because, you know, I thought I should own it and it had just been rereleased on CD. It might have fared better if I had not aquired it at the same time I bought my vinyl copy of f#a#oo by Godspeed You Black Emperor! [6]

I got so into the GYBE! record for awhile that I almost forgot all about Harsh 70s Reality. When I did listen to it, finally, I thought I could get all the way through it. But protests staged by others living my apartment cut the listening short. And it's not the best thing to listen to at work. "Well, we've noticed a marked increase in aggression in your work...remember, this is a children's photography studio you work at, not a firing range...."

So, I decided to listen to them. Maybe it would be better, I decided, if I put most of my effort into doing something other than listening to them, like reading or brushing the dog or cooking beans. This was to be the correct choice, although the beans turned out pretty crappy.

I tried Trapdoor first, and just tried to read while listening to it. Sure enough, after a while, the sound pretty much took over the room and I could not read anymore. This time, though, I was fascinated by what was going on. I actually got all the way through it and heard "Helen Said This", the album's closing song, for the first time. [7]

Harsh 70s Reality went much the same way. I bet I could try and do a better job describing what went on while I was listening to it, but I'd rather not. Suffice it to say, it was pretty amazing. I listened to them both again just an hour or so ago.

I'm glad it took this long, though. Now I have two new CDs, ones with layers and layers of stuff to unravel over time.


[1] If you're on the drone-on mailing list, you may recognize these two albums as ones that someone one that list couldn't finish. There was a long, drawn-out angry debate there a while back on the topic of "Albums I've Never Finished," and I mentioned these two, which generated quite a reaction from some folks. The topic has also come up on another place on the net I post at regularly. So, if you read this, and go, "Hey, I know of someone else who can't finish those records," you are wrong. That was me.

[2] What makes this a tad weirder is that I've been able to complete listens to and White House, by the same band, with no apparent effort on my part. The former is a live album, even, and live Dead C. requires a good amount of commitment on the part of the listener. I also own Gate albums.

[3] Not because I wanted to, mind you.

[4] There isn't.

[5] You don't want to know more than that, trust me. And I don't want to tell you.

[6] Which is something you need to go buy RIGHT NOW, because it's so good. I mentioned that I bought my vinyl copy instead of my CD copy (I own both) because they're actually different. You, too, should get both. The vinyl edition comes with a free penny, too -- special bonus.

[7] I know I could have just skipped to the end and listened to it before, but that's cheating.

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