duck-shaped pain

2000-08-06
Where I Don't Do What I Was Going To Do

Reasons I didn't go to the Olathe Sweet Corn Festival today:

  • The importance of taking a nap instead

  • The thought of 20,000 corn-crazed western Coloradans all in one small place makes me nervous

  • They charge for admission

  • There's only so much corn you can eat

  • Too hot

  • Didn't have corn-appropriate clothing handy

  • Special entertainment by...Bachman! Turner! Overdrive!

  • Tuckered out from a hard morning of yard sales

  • 90,000 ears of corn ... zero toothpicks

  • Much too hot

  • Sheer contrariness

  • Bitter disappointment over not being named Corn Queen 2000

  • Corn makes blood sugar go through the roof

  • Saving energy for Peach Festival next weekend

  • When sick of corn, only other available food is funnel cakes

  • No parking

  • Prefer to remember Olathe in its natural, non-Corn Festival state

  • No need to purchase clever dried-cob crafts

  • Corn best celebrated in private

  • Afraid of sunburns, stores out of sunscreen

  • It was better back when no one else had heard of it, before it SOLD OUT

  • Boycotting all festivals until they meet my demands for an Eggplant Festival



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