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2000-08-06
Where I Don't Do What I Was Going To Do
Reasons I didn't go to the Olathe Sweet Corn Festival today:- The importance of taking a nap instead
- The thought of 20,000 corn-crazed western Coloradans all in one small place makes me nervous
- They charge for admission
- There's only so much corn you can eat
- Too hot
- Didn't have corn-appropriate clothing handy
- Special entertainment by...Bachman! Turner! Overdrive!
- Tuckered out from a hard morning of yard sales
- 90,000 ears of corn ... zero toothpicks
- Much too hot
- Sheer contrariness
- Bitter disappointment over not being named Corn Queen 2000
- Corn makes blood sugar go through the roof
- Saving energy for Peach Festival next weekend
- When sick of corn, only other available food is funnel cakes
- No parking
- Prefer to remember Olathe in its natural, non-Corn Festival state
- No need to purchase clever dried-cob crafts
- Corn best celebrated in private
- Afraid of sunburns, stores out of sunscreen
- It was better back when no one else had heard of it, before it SOLD OUT
- Boycotting all festivals until they meet my demands for an Eggplant Festival
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