duck-shaped pain

Shopping on the day after Thanksgiving is insane. One store in my town opened up at FOUR THIRTY IN THE MORNING [1] so that people could actually (there was a line to get in, believe it or not) get in and buy stuff. I find the idea of getting up early to shop at this time incomprehensible � I mean, I've been to stores at that time before, but that was because I just happened to be up and on my way to bed soon. Getting up at this time to shop implies that it is your goal and entire objective of the day, not something you just stumbled into accidentally.

I've actually worked in retail on the day after Thanksgiving before � twice, actually, in two subsequent years, because I did not learn my lesson the first time � and all I have to say is Never Again. I mean, I guess working that day might be more agreeable if you were selling tires or weathervanes, but I was working in a very busy enormous chain clothing store in Denver's busiest mall [2]. It made me mean and cranky and, well, meaner. It got to the point where I was taunting customers on my breaks � I would go out into the parking lot, find a car, pretend that this was my car and that I was going to get in it and pull out, freeing up a parking space. I would stand by it, make all sorts of imaginary rooting-for-the-keys-and-fiddling-with-the-lock motions until some sucker stopped to wait for me, taunt them for a while, and then I would walk away from the car, smiling and waving at the unlucky motorist, and then running, hoping that they would not decide to run me over. Mean, I tell you. That's what working during the Christmas shopping season does to your mind.

So, my day was deliberately uneventful in comparison to others'. I went and got a haircut, which went well. I got about two and a half inches but off, so I look funny now, or at least I think so. I always get my hair cut much shorter than I'd like, so that I only have to get it cut about twice a year. My hairdresser was pretty nice, pretty talkative, and got bonus tip points for not gasping when I told her that I usually had the underside of my hair shaved with a No. 1 guard (one of my big haircut-related peeves). Now I feel all nekkid, though.

Went down to the bagel shop after that, which was surprisingly not crowded, considering all the people who were downtown. This is one of those days that brings out the people who only go downtown once or twice a year, and then act like it's some sort of urban wild that they find themselves in. People looking up, shuffling around slowly, taking forever to decide on a bagel choice. That sort of thing. I ran into a few people I knew � S. and D., two people I used to work with a long time ago and who are now trying to start a newspaper of their own in town, and The Banjo Guy.

Later, I went out drinking with Z. and our friend H., who both happened to be in town for Thanksgiving. It's a routine � we always go drinking, and we always go to the same place, even though there are umpteen possible bar choices in town. We go to the one that makes its own beer, though.

It was just the three of us for awhile, until C., this guy that Z. teaches with down in New Mexico, showed up with his girlfriend. C.'s a pretty good guy � sort of annoying at times, but bearably so. His woman, though, is an idiot.

Idiot Girl comes from back east somewhere and lives in Gallup, which alone indicates that there might be something wrong with her. No one lives in Gallup, New Mexico by choice. Anyway, as a way of explaining her to me, Z. told me about the time when she was arguing that her proud home state of Massachusetts was bigger than New Mexico because�.it took up two pages in her road atlas, whereas N.M. only got one page.

We drank, Idiot Girl talked (not too much, thankfully) and people we sort of knew from high school and other things in the past came up to say hi. Some guy kept waving at me, and I think he was from HS, but I don't really know. He could have been just drunk.

Extra added bonus: not one, but two cute-looking guys were there last night. Did I look at them? Yes. Did I try to get their attention? Yes? Did I succeed? No.

[1]"There's a 4:30 in the morning now?"

[2] Ch*rry Cr**k, for those that know, for those that care.

previous | next