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duck-shaped pain

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18 January 2001
16 Songs -- 17 Hits!

Unscheduled days off are always ultimately disappointing to me because I expect so much out of them. In the earliest hours of the morning, when I start to realize that I have a whole unplanned day ahead of me, I think today is going to be so epic. I�m going to read this much, write this much, organize this, cook that, and maybe watch some movies, too. Then it gets to be late afternoon and I haven�t done nearly as much of any of it as I�d like, and I get depressed and start to focus on how I�ve wasted an entire day. My problem is that it seems to me that the amount of unscheduled time I get grows smaller and smaller, so I feel that when it comes, I have to make the most of it. Which I do by giving myself a list of things to do during it. Which makes it technically scheduled time. Which is probably why unscheduled time seems to rare these days. Sometimes I have to remind myself: hey, if I want to spend the day laying around unbathed, listening to the Housemartins and watching decorating shows, that�s perfectly okay.

Which is what I did today. I�m still sick, more or less, but I really stayed home because there was a lot of electrical work being done on the new office today, so all the other employees either stayed home or went out in the field [1] today for fear of being electrocuted. Hey, I know when to lead, but just as important, I know when to follow what everyone else is doing.

I got a really nice pan for Christmas. My aunt bought me something I was planning to buy for myself (this occurred because she happened to be with me when I was planning to buy it and somehow wrangled it out of my hands) � a one-quart All-Clad chef�s pan. It�s really heavy, and beautiful (as far as pans go) to look at, and I always imagine making great things in it. However, in the time that I�ve had it, I haven�t felt much like making big meals, so I finally broke it in by making � tomato soup with ramen in it. Two cheap tastes that taste�well, cheap together. I�m glad to stay that it was up to the challenge.

[1] Generic geologist term for "I don�t feel like going to the office today, so I�m going somewhere outside, somewhere far away where you can�t call me or reach me." I should call in someday and say I�m going out in the field, but for me the field would be like the bagel shop or someplace like that. I would be doing research, you know.

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