duck-shaped pain

13 April 2001
Shaved Chicken Diagram III: How The Gods Kill

To celebrate spring, the weekend, Friday the 13th, and having to pay $300 less in taxes than I thought, I present a complete cop-out of an entry. It's too nice out to sit in here in front of the computer.

Proving once again, that things in real life are much weirder than anything you make up, I present my third installment of Random Google Hits, or, I Bet I Can Find Something About This If I Try Hard Enough・lt;/P>

  • "A Picture of Kitchen Bouquet" -- from the Chinese version of Google. I think they were looking for a flower bouquet, but I was talking about the liquid seasoning in a bottle type of stuff.

  • "skirt +"pulled over" +ticket"

  • "+stereolab +book +transient"

  • "+where +are her shoes" -- like I know, or something.

  • "certain duck" -- any request with "duck" in it, I get, automatically. Some make sense. Many others do not.

  • "chatty chatty bla bla" -- yeah, I liked that movie when I was a kid, too.

  • "comic stripe pic"

  • "eggplant porn"

  • "gaped celebrity pussy" -- I probably really disappointed these people.

  • "godspeed black emperor underwear" -- for the ultimate fan.

  • "horses suck and duck"

  • "how to pronounce shiitake" -- well, duh: shit-ache.

  • "ice cubes shaped like a duck"

  • "just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in by kenny rogers" -- at least they knew exactly what they wanted・

  • "maso photo pain"

  • "mean duck"

  • "monkey vs. robot movie" -- I'd look for that, too.

  • "pictures of Corn Flakes"

  • "plastic entry duck"

  • "fish oil pocky" -- why that variety isn't available in this country, I'll never know.

  • "yam tribute" -- and what vegetable would deserve it more?

  • "prunes AND noodles" -- sometimes you don't want to have to choose between them・lt;/P>

  • "swam OR water OR swimming pool OR pool +"prom dress" -died" -- yeah, eliminating the death part narrows it down a lot・lt;/P>

  • "tengo dresses"

  • "the figure of duck"

  • "the man sho shot Libery Valance" -- Ha ha, I thought. Someone who can't spell Liberty. Then I looked at the page of mine that the search brought up, and what do you know, I can't spell it either・lt;/P>

  • "took a nap + I was asleep" -- that's the goal, right?

  • "trucks +tits" -- I was no. 2 for this one・lt;/P>

  • "no -legs she -jokes ain't" -- someone was determined to find whatever this random string of words means, for my page was the 352nd result found.

  • "she has no legs" - brought to you by the German Google.

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