duck-shaped pain

This week's reading: A Consumer's Republic by Lizabeth Cohen (which traces the history of mass consumption in the US from around 1930 to 1980, and comments on the increasing tendency to connect consumer behavior with citizenship and patriotism; that is, you're not American unless you constantly buy, buy buy); How To Be Alone by Jonathan Franzen (essays of varying quality and interest, nice title); and a biography of John Muir (for school, is pretty good). The first book I bought new off of half.com, for $9 -- a surprising price, since it just came out and is normally $35. My assumption was that someone was selling a review copy, since one of the few perks I remember from working in newspapers was being able to swipe review copies of books and CDs and sell them to augment horrible journalism salaries. But when my book arrived, the return address was that of the publisher. Someone out there is stealing books from work, selling them, and then mailing them from work. Not that I mind, you see, but it was sort of surprising.

My root canal -- dental surgery phase one -- was on Thursday and was surprisingly easy to deal with. I had some very painful root canals when I was a child, which have colored my views of the dental profession ever since. But the only difficult part of this week's procedure was taking the x-rays. Apparently I have one of the tiniest mouths ever in the history of adult women. I have always suspected this, and it was nice to finally get confirmation from several medical professionals and their receptionist (who came in to try and help with the x-ray, and who took calls on her headset while she was trying to hold the film in my mouth and I was freaking out). Once the x-rays were made, and I was knocked out, things went fine. I drifted in and out of consciousness while my endodontist told me about the time he met Aerosmith. Now it's back to the cosmetic dentist to get another fake tooth put in and to have gum surgery and spend another $1500 on my mouth.

I have to go to a conference in April and do a presentation on a paper I wrote last year. I would be excited about it, since it involves getting out of town on the school's dime, but yet I am not, since it involves work (I have to revise the paper first) and the conference is in Pueblo, one of the worst places in all of Colorado. I've been trying to get others excited about going, since it is part of my job as president of our chapter of the organization holding the event, but Pueblo is a real deal-breaker. The only good thing you can say about Pueblo, which is depressing and desolate, is that it's not Trinidad, which is the same only without any restaurants.

I have to get my personal statements done for scholarship applications this weekend, which is turning out to be excruciating. I don't know what to write about why I deserve a scholarship except that a) I have a 3.89 GPA, b) I'm putting myself through school (therefore, I am extra deserving, in my mind), c) I am not a whiner like so many at my school, and d) having to not worry about paying for school next will lessen my anxiety, which will lessen the probability that I will rip someone's arm off in frustration sometime soon, and e) who else are they going to give it to? I can't find a nice way to say all of those things, especially since the people reading these essays, I've been warned, are really big on tales of personal growth experiences, which I seem to lack.

My friend J. now has a site going, where he officially writes about issues regarding standardized tests, but in reality, there's a lot else going on there. Go visit.

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