duck-shaped pain

This is a subject that has a lot of possibilities, but I've found that it�s best to stay in the realm of kitty cats, teddy bears, and/or nature in order to get the highest possible grade. I got a D on my "My Favorite Sound" paper because the teacher said that what I wrote wasn't pleasant enough. So I'm going to start making things up. It's sort of a dumb assignment, anyway.

I was sick last week, and felt okay on Monday, and then on Tuesday I got sick again. But I think I'm finally getting over it, and might feel okay enough to be out and about this weekend. Which will be a busy one -- banjo night at the bagel shop tonight, then I have to work tomorrow, and tomorrow night is when the Olympic torch relay rolls through town, so I feel like I should go see it. It will easily be the most exciting thing that happens in my town all year, I'm guessing. [1]

Speaking of my town, here are some more incidents from The Blotter -- everyone's favorite daily record of who done what and to who:

• Police arrested a 28-year-old man after he got in an argument with his next-door neighbor. The neighbor claimed that the man assaulted him by throwing the contents of a can of spaghetti in his face.

• A woman called the sheriff's office, claiming that a man had broken into her home and taunted her by threatening to "urinate on her couch." The man was nowhere to be seen by the time the authorities arrived, and there was no sign of a break-in.

• A man called 911 to report that the jugs on his porch were missing. Police arrived and found the jugs in question in position out on the porch. The man said that every night, someone took them and then brought them back. No suspects are in custody.