duck-shaped pain

22 October 2003
Witnessing to worms and mushrooms.

Someone emailed me to ask why I had stated writing frequently again after several months of sparse entries. Actually, the email sounds accusatory when I phrase things that way -- it was really more of a happy "welcome back" email, but the question still remains.

This has been a really tough semester so far. Not as far as my class load goes: right now I only have three real classes, one of which only meets once a week, leaving me with four days a week that I only have one class on. On two of these days, I don't have class until noon, which leaves me a lot of time to sleep in, since I don't go to work until after class is finished. It's not the schedule, trust me.

However, I've been finding that the work that I have to do is extraordinarily difficult for me to complete. Writing is the worst part right now. There's an absurd amount of anxiety that accompanies every word I attempt to write, for reasons unknown to me. Fear of the future? Overwrought anxiety about potential failure? I don't know.

Anyway, I thought it might help if I started writing in here again. Writing in here is relatively easy, and there's not any performance anxiety related to it, so making this a regular part of my schedule might help me cope a little better with all the things I have to do. Which means that the posting could get more intense as the semester goes forward, especially about the time that the World's Worst Historiography Paper is due.


I went out to dinner with my friend G. the other night, out to the Mexican restaurant that has only one good dish (vegetarian tamales). I went to the bathroom during dinner, and looked down at the feet of the person in the stall next to me, just because I am always interested in people's shoes. She was wearing a fairly nondescript pair of puffy white sneakers, notable only for having embroidered on them, in the place where the logo would be on a normal pair of shoes, the words "JESUS SAVES." Odd, the whole feet thing.



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