duck-shaped pain

I went to the airport this afternoon to see about getting my employer's suitcase fixed, after the airline banged it around and broke the clasp. I went around 2, not a time of the day you'd expect to find a completely empty airport.

I went inside, and there was NO ONE there. We have a very large and spacious airport terminal, and it was completely devoid of any form of life other than me.

There was a strange buzzing noise coming over the loudspeakers, soft at first, but it got progressively louder. It sounded like some variation on static or a live broadcast of the deep fryer in the airport cafe. The sound expanded to fill the entire terminal, and echoed off all sorts of surfaces.

I went to the counter, and rang the bell for service. After a few minutes, an extremely small woman, only about as tall as the counter came out and took a look at the suitcase. I tried to explain what was wrong, but she took it away and went in the back with it.

I waited and waited, for around 45 minutes. The buzzing got louder and weirder, and there was still no one else in sight, not even at the car rental counters or in the gift shop. Just me and the buzzing and the stuffed bear and bighorn sheep on display in the lobby. [1]

After the most tedious wait of my entire life to date, Tiny Woman came back with the suitcase. "It's fixed," she told me. I was half-expecting her to communicate telepathically with me, as that would seem to fit the situation, but no, actual words came out of her actual moving mouth. "Our suitcase technician in back worked on it and it should close properly now."

I thanked her, and she disappeared. Still sort of freaked out, I looked around the airport some more and I was still alone. Finally, I left. There were no cars in the waiting area except for mine, and the only sound in the air was the wind, which swirled dust around my feet.

(Later, I found where those people went. They were all at the post office, standing in line in front of me, demanding extremely complicated and time-consuming postal services.)