duck-shaped pain

Which creates a dilemma. I could take the journal back and exchange it for a smaller one, which would have been a fantastic solution had I not already written my name and "Duck-Shaped Pain Vol. 6" in it. [1] I could just resolve to leave the notebook and bag as they were, and deal with having to carry the journal by hand or -- gasp -- leave it at home sometimes. But that would be too simple of a solution, and so I decided to just get a new bag.

Besides, the old one was starting to suffer. It barely survived being eaten by a dog a few months back and the zipper was starting to pop open at random and inopportune moments. Not the biggest zipper-related tragedy, I realize, but still sort of annoying.

The biggest problem with obtaining a new one is that I am extremely picky about bags. I have had maybe three or four in my entire life that I've liked � others have all been big disappointments. I tend to steer towards the small bag on a long strap sort of thing, since I like to wear them slung across my torso. I know I'm not alone in this, so why I keep finding bags with piddly straps is a mystery. I also like bags that are fairly narrow in thickness � I don't need to call further attention to my already abundant gifts in the general tuckus region. [2]

So a few hours of searching later, I have a new one. It's black nylon (I'm really tough on bags, so nylon=special bonus to me) with a long strap, lots of compartments and room for not just my journal, but for another book and maybe my CD player as well.

It's going to rain or snow tomorrow � I know this thanks to the Unwanted Internal Barometer in my leg. I'm going to have to put up with this crap for at least another year, maybe more, depending on the state of my leg bones next September. It got so bad today that I had to go home early � there are no soft couches and relaxing pillows to rest The Leg on at work, I'm afraid.

I got a hit from someone this afternoon doing a Google search for the phrase "my sandal broke." Why anyone would search for this is a mystery � it's so vague that it would bring up lots and lots of material yet odd enough that you have to wonder exactly what the searcher was looking for. Yet, as far as my Google hits go, it's only a bush-league mystery, far behind such wonders as "shaped breasts," "soy store," "Converse fetish" (once a day, at least) and the all-time champion, "shaved chicken diagram."

[1] Yes, the paper journal and this journal have the same official title. It seems to work, and I'm that uncreative.

[2] Tuckus � use it often, use it proudly, work it into as many sentences as you can.

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