duck-shaped pain

• Killer fetus invades my house. After eating all the cereal and hanging up some laundry, he shoots my dog. Then it is Thursday.

• I run into elves on the street. Bad things are going to happen, they threaten, if I don't take them to the vegetarian restaurant.

• I'm in the mall. The same mall is always in my dreams, but I can never remember enough to describe it. They are having a Hooray for Enzymes festival, but I am not invited.

• My car insurance is cancelled because my agent decides he can't risk insuring my car, which is apparently made entirely of suction cups. If it had been made of Hostess-brand Sno Ball marshmallow treat cakes, however, he would have no problem with it.

• Styrofoam packing peanuts. Lots of them.

• Living in an enormous bottle. Then, suddenly, living in a plastic bag.

• Feet made of frozen orange juice.

• I'm attempting to burn my entire CD collection on to one disk, but keep getting an error message that this is not possible due to a "202 Error: Lack of Riffage."

• All of a sudden, I am immensely concerned that I do not own enough boron.

I should try to get better sleep.

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