duck-shaped pain

I needed to. I needed a day off, to relax, to rest, to get away from my office, where my boss harangued me constantly yesterday because he couldn't FedEx something to Canada (well, he could, actually -- it just wouldn't get there as timely as he wanted). Of all the things to worry about, to get upset about, being able to send some pictures of rocks [1] to Calgary doesn't seem like it should even make the list now.

I really had a hard time concentrating on anything yesterday. The radio was on, and we listened to NPR all day. Everything I was working on seemed so pointless, so unimportant. What does it matter in the grand scheme of things if this paper gets shuffled, if this government publication gets ordered? Nothing.

Today, I just couldn't handle it. Usually, I am able to pretend that what I do at work matters somehow, that it fulfills some societal need, that it does something other than make The Employer more money. I didn't know if I could do that today, so I opted for a day of napping and sitting and trying not to watch TV and especially trying not to think.

It rained all day. Which seemed appropriate. I opened the back door and watched it fall down, giving life to the eggplants [2] and the grass. But when I went back in, the lack of sun made the house even darker, which made things feel even bleaker.

Canned soup and a microwaved soft pretzel for lunch. Hard to make decent food a priority sometimes. The box that the pretzel came in provided a helpful diagram pointing out its proper place in the world of nutrition -- right next to wheat on the bottom layer of the food pyramid. There was a little arrow and everything. Sort of odd.

I bought new pajamas last night, when I went to the mall with my aunt. I didn't need new pajamas, certainly, but I saw them and they cheered me up. Mint-green flannel pajamas with little dogs wearing sweaters on them. I know that doesn't sound like something I would wear, but I like them. Whenever I do a serious investigation of the pattern, I laugh. I've been wearing them all day -- it can't be a terrible day if you spend it all in your pajamas.

[1] I offered to scan them in and email them, but that was apparently not an option, for some reason.

[2] I have actual eggplants now. They�re not very big and there's only two of them, but they're eggplants nonetheless.

previous | next