duck-shaped pain

School just sort of started this week. One week of messing around and birthday angsting, and boom, I find out that I am so behind. Things are better now, hopefully. During my absence, I started and then promptly stopped several entries, so now I have saved on my hard drive several files, which contain the first sentences of entries that seemed like they had potential at the time.

Other things:

1. I've been incredibly lazy as of late, at least in the school department. Even being behind hasn't been enough to get me out of my mini-slump, when I would much rather be reading magazines or watching TV, when I'm supposed to be reading about environmental change in colonial New England or the lives of elite Southern women in the 19th century. But wouldn't you want to watch TV, too?

2. But, on the other hand, I've been walking two miles a day (except today, since I found a large blister on my foot this morning). This makes me feel especially virtuous. Sunday will be my three-week exercise anniversary, which is a major accomplishment for me, at least. The eating part is going well, also, but my thought is that exercise is more important, since it makes me feel better and stronger and (most importantly) much less stressed than when I don't do it. Last semester is an excellent example of what happens to me when I have more stress than I can really handle. Concentrating on eating less just makes me surly and completely obsessed with what I'm going to eat in my next meal, so I think it wiser to focus on something that does better things for me.

3. I also haven't been spending any money, except for bare necessities. This is because I haven't been working, except for one seven-hour stint last Saturday (The Employer needed someone to print out his vacation photos, being unable somehow to do it himself, and I needed the hours, so, hey). I keep hearing all sorts of conflicting information about when a return to work might be possible, with the big problem being a sudden changing of the guard at The Client. In the confusion, the answer to the question of how much documentation will be needed for this project has been lost. Documentation=me. If this doesn't clear up soon, at least I'll be able to work for my aunt starting in about two weeks. Of course, as in no. 2 above, trying not to spend money makes me spend a lot of unnecessary mental energy thinking about things I'd like to buy, given the chance.

4. I think I can only concentrate on a few things at once. School, plus exercise, food, work, and money are all combining to make me easily wiped out and fit only for flopping about on the couch when I get home. I have to remember, though, as nice as getting in shape and fitting into smaller clothes and saving money are, none of these things are going to get me into graduate school, right?

5. I spoke to my friend S. on the phone last night, for two hours. It was an entertaining phone call, and more and more, his reports are making me very glad that I didn't move back to Denver when I had the chance. A lowered amount of jobs plus steeply rising numbers of dumb, pretentious people suddenly emerging are combining to make life not all that pleasant for S. or the few others I still know there. He's planning to get out as soon as possible, which is good. It's not that the place I live is that great -- it is deeply flawed in many ways -- but I actually felt sort of relieved to be here given his descriptions. Denver remains a good place to buy things, but there's really not an attraction for me otherwise.

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