duck-shaped pain

I was going to make gazpacho today, but it's just not the day for cold tomatoey anything. I'm not sure what today is good for, really.

What it is a good day for is cleaning out my list of weird search engine hits. Yes, it's a cop-out, something that just sort of masquerades as an entry, but it's getting to be a big list. And it's a weekend. Light traffic about these parts on a weekend�.

• "how to make a dog turn blue"

• "beware of wearing capes in public" -- I agree wholeheartedly.

• "armadillo unpacking"

• "humidity must be destroyed"

• "aloof dog"

• "big duck sex" and, 20 minutes later, "enormous duck sex"

• "are box springs necessary?"

• "bust her ass again"

• "clothes for smaller women"

• "noodle anus"

• "I hate Wyoming"

• "no college picture"

• "denny's Portland -hate"

• "Chinese duck stomach"

• "eggplant pussy picture"

• "eggplant porn"

• "FAT PANTYHOSE LAND" -- typing in all caps makes the search go faster..

• "google is a bastard"

• "hot anus"

• "HOW DO I LEARN WOODPECKER"

• "humming monitor"

• "Japanese flight attendant screwed"

• "glico nutrition free"

• "www.tiny peaches.com"

• "why don't my pants fit anymore?"

• "urpy"

• "the most tragic dog"

• "toy, vibrating lobster"

• "today it will be sunny"

• "attack me on the bus"

• "powerpoint chicken"

• "how does it go away?"

• "smack Kim Gordon again"

• "my over-excited duck"

• "strange shaped penis"

• "the hairiest men"

• "soothing to my sickness"

• "sesame street is the shit"

• "sheer idiocy"

• "shaved meat friend"

• "how are regional candy brands?"

• "previous QVC hosts"

• "wiener angel"

• "free pictures of burritos"

• "odd obsessions" - the theme of this entire journal

• "nutfuck"

• "my jaw hurts"

• "elderly people have no hope"

• "my border collie is smarter than me"

• "not really a city is an smelly"

• "Mexico porn" -- when that didn't work, they tried "porn de Mexico"

• "my feet look fine"

• "picture of beet"

• "lunch time sneak attack"

• "beer utopia"

• "don't swim in my prom dress"

• "prom dress swim stories -death"

• "fat fighting television"

• "stop screaming at the duck"

• "lick me there diaryland"

• "my dog knows how to drive"

• "favorite cucumber"

• "is this my belly"

• "cheese breath"

• "cosmopolitan newest"

More Google hits entries:

Son of "Shaved Chicken Diagram"

Shaved Chicken Diagram III -- How The Gods Kill

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